Humor Archives

Friday Link Wrap-up

A verse I found highlighted by a friend on Facebook:

Proverbs 26:18-19 (New International Version 1984, ©1984)

18 Like a madman shooting
   firebrands or deadly arrows
19 is a man who deceives his neighbor
   and says, “I was only joking!”

The Left seems to forget their own hateful rhetoric when they start to point fingers at Sarah Palin. “…a big mashed-up bag of meat with lipstick on it.” “I’m just saying if he did die, other people, more people would live. That’s a fact.” “Somebody’s going to jam a CO2 pellet into his head and he’s going to explode like a giant blimp.” Indeed. These and other gems at Q&O.


On the (much) lighter side, I have finally been convinced that you should only put 1 space after a period, not two. I’m endeavoring to do so in this post, but it’s a hard habit to break.

Living up their promises, the Republicans have put forth a proposal for $2.5 trillion of spending cuts. Since it’s that amount over 10 years, it’s still only a drop in the bucket. But it’s more than they have suggested in the past (as far as I know) and certainly more than Democrats ever have. If the Dems want to criticize the choices of where to cut, let’s just see them propose their own.

I grew up in the Salvation Army denomination. (Yes, it’s a denomination.) Representatives from around the world are currently meeting to elect the next General, the administrative head of the Salvation Army. You can follow events on their web page, get e-mail updates, or even follow them on Twitter.

Cutting sugar, sodium and trans fats. Buying more produce locally. Cutting price premiums for healthier food options. That’s Wal-Mart for you. (Yeah, that Wal-Mart).

In Houston, it’s apparently safer for the homeless to go hungry than to get a meal that hasn’t been government certified.

Reason TV asks, what happened to the antiwar movement? It gives a serious look at the disappearance of a group that was so huge while Bush was President. Glenn Reynolds notes, they were useful idiots until they stopped being useful.

Charles Krauthammer:

Suppose someone – say, the president of United States – proposed the following: We are drowning in debt. More than $14 trillion right now. I’ve got a great idea for deficit reduction. It will yield a savings of $230 billion over the next 10 years: We increase spending by $540 billion while we increase taxes by $770 billion.

He’d be laughed out of town. And yet, this is precisely what the Democrats are claiming as a virtue of Obamacare.

Some say that if spending $X saves us $Y down the road(where Y is greater than X), then the government should spend it. But ObamaCare is much more a behemoth than simply judicious spending on road repairs before they get much worse. The claim that repealing ObamaCare will cost us money is ridiculous for Krauthammer’s reason.  Amazing.

And finally:

A Silent Hallelujah

A very clever rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus performed by The Silent Monks.

Shire Network News #180

Shire Network News #180 has been released, and I’m guest hosting again. Tom Paine’s feature about a project he’s working on that you can help with.  There’s also a big boatload of Blog News.  Click here for the show notes, links, and ways to listen to the show; directly from the web site, by downloading the mp3 file, or by subscribing with your podcatcher of choice.

Below is the text of my commentary.

It’s my turn to ask you to “Consider This!”

Comedy Central stands on the bedrock of free speech and will mock anyone. Their show “South Park” has left no stone unturned in being an equal opportunity offender. Of course, this is just as long as there’s no chance of getting beheaded for it. The network decided to not show an episode where the Prophet Mohammed was depicted as a lovable bear. This self-censorship was intended to not offend Muslims. But this is a special exception, given how many other religions and groups have been skewered by the network. Yes, their brave, until they aren’t.

Which puts a new show they’re developing in a whole new light. It’s called "JC," and it’s a half-hour show about Christ wanting to escape the shadow of his "powerful but apathetic father" and “live a regular life in New York." Ooh yes, putting those Christians in their place; that’s exercising those First Amendment whachamacallits! I bet there’s a series called “PM” in the future from those wacky Comedy Central execs; the Prophet Mohammed, each week, gets some advice from the angel Gabriel, seeks out infidels, hilarity ensues. Yes, well, no, it’s not. Anyone want to hazard a guess why?

One reason may be something that Penn Jillett, of Penn and Teller fame – magician and religious critic – recently discovered. He has a program on Showtime where, among other things, he pokes fun and mocks all sorts of religions. In an interview with George Lopez, he confessed that American Christians are "the most tolerant people worldwide", and admitted that he was shocked by that discovery. He must have been listening too closely to his own propaganda.

The irony of all this is that, as much as liberals claim to venerate “tolerance” as a concept, it’s only those who are indeed truly tolerant that they feel free to ridicule and taunt. Christians can take it, so the Left gives it. That’s bravery? That’s courage? C’mon, that’s cowardice of the lowest order; no more brave than the bully on the playground. The thing about the bully is that he typically stays away from the kid who will bloody his nose, or blow him up.

Hey, Comedy Central. This is what tolerance really looks like. If you want to exploit it, just consider this.

Political Cartoon: Cozy

From Chuck Asay (click for a larger version):

Chuck Asay cartoon

A bit of selective outrage.

Political Cartoon: Your Papers, Please.

From Chuck Asay (click for a larger version):

Chuck Asay

Just a bit of perspective before tossing around the "racist" or "Nazi" labels.

Shire Network News #179 has been released, and I’m the guest host! The feature this time is a look at Operation Millenium, the bombing of the German city of Cologne and how it would have been covered by the mainstream media of today.  There are also some great blog news items. Click here for the show notes, links, and ways to listen to the show; directly from the web site, by downloading the mp3 file, or by subscribing with your podcatcher of choice.

Below is the text of my commentary.

Hi, this is Doug Payton for Shire Network News asking you to "Consider this!"

The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development, according to its website, is a group that "brings together the governments of countries committed to democracy and the market economy from around the world to:    

  • Support sustainable economic growth

  • Boost employment

  • Raise living standards

  • Maintain financial stability

  • Assist other countries’ economic development

  • Contribute to growth in world trade"

The idea is that they invite in countries that show leadership and results in their economic policies.  In that sense, they are sort of the anti-United-Nations.  Instead of inviting any old dictator with a tin pot to stand on, you have to show you are serious about economic progress before you have a seat at the table to both get answers for your problems and offer solutions to other countries.  If you can’t keep your own house in order, no sense allowing you a chance to give building advice to others.  Get down to the hardware store yourself first, and then, maybe, we’ll see.

Which is clearly why they’re not even thinking about considering Venezuela as a member.  But there is one Latin American country that they recently allowed to join; the first one since Mexico, and the first one in South America.  That country is Chile.

Is this a result of fortune’s wind blowing favorably?  Hardly.  Investor’s Business Daily notes that just 3 decades ago this was an impoverished country, with labor unions shutting down international trade.  So much for blaming "globalists" for your woes.  It was ranked 71st in Economic Freedom.  Out of 72.  Now, however, it’s per capita GDP is over 10 times what it was then, and at the same time it’s now the 3rd most open economy according to the Cato Institute.

What brought about this huge turnaround in such a short time?  Was it more government control?  Was it dabbling in socialism, making everything completely fair (by government standards)?  No, it was free trade and market economics.

They opened wide their trade borders and didn’t, as labor unions would like you to believe, hemorrhage jobs.  They have pursued market policies and, in half a generation, have become the economic powerhouse of the neighborhood. 

So why does the Left think that moving away from that is the secret to combating poverty, or halting rising unemployment, or coming out of a recession?  Chile is marinating in a sea of neighbors that have attempted to save their economies by dabbling, to differing extents, with socialism.  How’s that working out for you guys, eh?  Chile, instead, bucked the peer pressure, stayed in school, and graduated magna cum laude from the Milton Freedman School of Economic Reality. 

Great job, guys.  Just one bit of advice:  When things get temporarily difficult, don’t divorce the lady who brought you here in the first place.  Every marriage goes through difficulties.  You just stay true to her, and when all the others around you are falling apart, you’ll come out of those tough times with a stronger commitment to each other.  You take care of her, and she’ll take care of you.  Consider this.

A Modest Proposal

I’ve been mulling this over for quite a while, and I think it’s time to put these thoughts out there and see if I can get other fair-minded folks to back me up on this.  I’ll have to admit it’s not something that’ll be easy to adjust to, but I think that, in the end, you’ll thank me.

On average, every year airline travel kills 1,000 people.  Every year.  Now, statistics about deaths per passenger or per passenger-mile are used to try to mitigate this, but if one of those 1,000 people is someone you know — friend, family, or perhaps yourself — it doesn’t matter how many others didn’t die.  Those are 1,000 people that aren’t going to be landing at an airport near you ever again.  Consider this; that’s 1/3 of a 9-11-type terrorist attack every year.  Where’s the uproar about that

And even if you cravenly choose to brush this aside, let’s not forget the death traps that are automobiles.  On an average year, these instruments of death cause 40,000 – 50,000 deaths!  Every year!  Osama bin Laden doesn’t have to kill us infidels with planes; he can just wait for Detroit to do it for him. 

Given the immense human cost of these modes of transportation, I think that any sober individual would agree that these statistics prove that air flight and driving should be outlawed, or at least a moratorium put on their use until such time as they can be made completely harmless to man and beast alike. 

This isn’t, or shouldn’t be, a Democrat/Republican, liberal/conservative thing.  All Americans have life, and losing it should be avoided at all costs.  Even one death is too much if we truly value the safety of our people, especially our children.  Children are usually put into these instruments of death without a say in the matter, and so we must speak for them.  Ban transportation for the children.

This may adversely affect our culture, our economy, and our competitiveness in the world market, but again, what is one life worth?  Environmentalists seek to save endangered animals; what about the endangered humans?

In conclusion, instead of moving around so much, we should stay still.  Still, baby, still! 


In other news today, with the oil spill from the BP rig explosion in the Gulf of Mexico ,which killed 11, heading for land, many on the Left are calling for a stop to off-shore drillingSome are invoking an accident from 21 years ago to buttress their point, and asking for at least a moratorium on new drilling.  Perfection, apparently, has not yet been reached.

Spring Break Catch-up

I was on Spring Break vacation with the family last week, so other than my post-dated blog posts, I didn’t write much … well, anything.  But I did surf the web and kept track of some articles I wanted to highlight when I came back.  Here they are, in mostly chronological order of when I found them.

Amnesty International decided that jihad was not antithetical to human rights so long as it’s "defensive". 

The bump in polling numbers after passing health care "reform" was supposed to go to Democrats.  Instead, while it’s just a measure of emotion at this point in time, you’d think that all the promises of the bill would give Democrats a few higher point.  Instead, they’re at an 18-year low.  It’s quite possible that people are only now understanding what they supported all along, because the "free" stuff isn’t materializing right now.

What was the point of the resurrection on Easter?  Don Sensing has (had) some thoughts.

The Tea Party’s ideas are much more mainstream than the MSM would like you to believe.  And Tea Partiers are much more diverse that the MSM realized.  Turns out, they did some actual journalism and found out the real story.  Imagine that.  Has the liberal slant of the press become a problem of corruption, especially with, first, the willful ignoring of the Tea Party story, and second, the willful misreporting of it?

Toyota cars have killed 52 people, and got a recall for it.  Gardasil, a cervical cancer vaccine, has had 49 "unexplained deaths" reported by the CDC and it’s still required in some states.

Changing the names to protect the guilty, the words "Islam" and "jihad" are now banned from the national security strategy document.  When the next terror attack Islamic jihadists happens, it’ll be interesting to find out how they describe it.

Cows have been exonerated of helping to cause global warming.  No, really.

Rep. Bart Stupak’s reversal of his principles is having the proper effect; he’s decided not to seek re-election.  Likely, he couldn’t get re-elected anyway, after betraying his constituents, but let this be a lesson about trusting "conservative" Democrats too much.

And finally, media scrutiny of church vs. state (click for a larger picture):

Media scrutiny

Oh, that liberal media.

Shire Network News: Returning to the 1940s

Shire Network News #178 has (already) been released. This week the Anglosphere’s hardest-hitting political podcast returns to the dark days of the 1940s and wonders what would have happened if today’s politicians and thinkers had been in charge of the United States. The results are about as unpleasant as…well, as reading the news today I suppose. Click here for the show notes, links, and ways to listen to the show; directly from the web site, by downloading the mp3 file, or by subscribing with your podcatcher of choice.

Below is the text of my commentary.

Hi, this is Doug Payton for Shire Network News asking you to "Consider This!"

In case you have missed the news for the past, oh, 2 months or so, you may have missed one particular trifling development.  The United States decided that it was time to federalize a sixth of its entire economy, and force all its inhabitants to make a purchase.  Nothing big, just one small step for Congress, one giant leap towards socialism.

Now, you may think that all this forced purchasing would stimulate the economy, but there’s the rub.  See, that requirement doesn’t kick in for 4 years.  In the meantime, Americans will be paying the bill, up front, and then keep paying it.  In perpetuity.  Even if they don’t need it or don’t want it.  For starters, the first 10 years of payments will pay for 6 years of benefits.  After that, Obama will be long gone, so hey, it won’t be his problem.  We’ll just muddle along and wait for someone to bail us out.

Hey, it works for folks with mortgages they can’t afford, and banks that lent money to folks who couldn’t afford it, and car companies that can’t build a competitive product.  It’s another gilded age!  Spend like there’s no tomorrow, and the government will bail you out!

Until it’s the government that needs bailing out.  Just this month, our Social Security system paid out more money than it took in, years ahead of schedule.  Our deficit, as a percentage of GDP, is about what it was when we were in the middle of fighting the Nazis, et. al.  Who are we fighting now?

Well, apparently, we aren’t fighting enough.  It’s time to get serious about this.  Well, it’s past time, frankly, but we’ll take anyone who’s recently woken up, as well as those who have been paying attention but just didn’t think this could happen here.

It has.  Consider this.

Shire Network News #177: Guy Earle

Shire Network News #177 has finally, after a longer than expected hiatus, been released. The feature interview is with Guy Earle, a Canadian comedian who is being dragged in front of one of Canada’s bogus "Human Rights" kangaroo courts for the hideous sin of…well, telling jokes apparently. Now you and I and certain other head-in-the-clouds no-hopes might cling to the charmingly antediluvian notion that it’s not all that unusual for a comedian to tell jokes, but under close, time consuming and massively expensive legal scrutiny, this turns out not to be the case. Click here for the show notes, links, and ways to listen to the show; directly from the web site, by downloading the mp3 file, or by subscribing with your podcatcher of choice.

Below is the text of my commentary.

Hi, this is Doug Payton for Shire Network News, asking you to "Consider This!"

Back in January, for the 37th anniversary of the Roe v Wade US Supreme Court decision which federalized all abortion law in the country, tens of thousands of abortion protestors descended on Washington, DC.  For such a large protest, the US media was on the top of it’s game, reporting that …

>cue crickets<

Public broadcasting outlets, however, did manage to touch on the subject.  The PBS NewsHour did give it 3 or 4 sentences.  National Public Radio, rather than covering the abortion protests, instead interviewed Serrin Foster, President of Feminists for Life, and abortion doctor Leroy Carhart.  (Please don’t look at the crowded mall in DC, just listen to one on one side of the issue, one on the other side, and we’ll call it square.)

Carhart was asked to describe the horrible, horrible things that anti-abortion protestors do to him.

MARTIN: And when you say protests, what are you talking about? I mean, Dr. Tiller, for example, before he was murdered was – had been shot before. When you say protest, what do you mean? What are some of the things that you experienced…

Dr. CARHART: Well…

MARTIN: …in course of your work?

Dr. CARHART: It’s not protesting. It’s actually bullying. And it’s the extreme bullying that we know and wouldn’t even tolerate with high school children or grade school children. You know, yelling at patients; calling, telling them they are murdering their babies; blocking, actually physically blocking the patients from getting out of their cars. It’s blocking the clinic’s doors so patients can’t enter. They protest at the schools where the provider’s children go and yell to all the students that John’s daddy is a baby killer or a child killer. I mean, it’s just extremism; it’s religious terrorism.

"Religious terrorism?"  Y’know, I think long-time, or even short-time, listeners of Shire Network News have a slightly different opinion of what constitutes "religious terrorism" than Dr. Carhart.  When 3000 people are killed, that’s religious terrorism.  When Navy ships or embassies are bombed, that’s religious terrorism.  When buildings are burned and people die over cartoons, that’s religious terrorism.  That’s extremism.

When you have to put up with "bullying" — the horrors of being yelled at and the audacity of protest blockades — well, you have no idea what the term "religious terrorism" really means, sir.  (And apparently Ms. Martin doesn’t quite get it, either.  She blithely moves on the next softball question.  Oh, that liberal media.)

These "bullies", as you call them, believe you’re killing children, and in protest they’re merely yelling and blocking.  Sounds more like incredible self-control and restraint, if you ask me.  If Islamic radicals ever decide abortion is one of their issues, you’ll find yourself pining for the good old days. 

And a short P.S.:  If 11 abortion clinics were set on fire in one state during one month, don’t you think it would make the national news, repeatedly?  Yeah, me, too.  It should.  But did you know that 11 churches burned down in Texas last month?  Yeah, me neither.  Consider this.

Hat tip: NewsBuster.

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