John Kerry finally d…

John Kerry finally decided to tell us why he wants to be President.

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. (Reuters) – Armed with a five-word refrain, Democrat John Kerry on Tuesday fought back against the perception that many voters don’t know what he stands for or why he is challenging President Bush.

“I’m running for president because ….” the White House hopeful, longtime senator from Massachusetts and decorated Vietnam War veteran explained again and again during a campaign swing through New Jersey and Ohio.

Although Kerry leads Bush in some opinion polls and has raised more money than the Republican president in the past couple of months, some critics say he has fallen short when it comes to clearly articulating why he wants the job and what he would do with it.

OK, let’s find out what he wants.

“I’m running for president because I want an economy that strengthens and expands the middle class, not one that squeezes it.”

Yeah, we’re really squeezed, which is why consumer confidence took a nice climb last month, and all the economic news keeps getting better. (Although if he’s getting his economic news from the mainstream media, his confusion is understandable.)

“I’m running for president because we have to put the country back in a place of responsible leadership.”

Translation: Cede all our responsibility to the U.N., which ran that “responsible” Oil-for-Food program. If we’d done that, Hussein would be adding to his 300,000+ deaths today. I guess that’s the “responsible” thing?

“I’m running for president because health care is not a benefit for the wealthy or the elected or the connected.”

And he’s running so they will get health care, eh? Actually, what he really means is that health care is a benefit for others that you should pay for.

“I’m running for president because I know that we could be a hell of a lot stronger in the world if we were to secure our freedom.”

Heaven knows, capturing Saddam Hussein and dealing serious blows to al Qaeda has certainly done nothing to stem terrorism in the U.S. The last attack was as recent as…um…well, more than 2 years ago.

Or is he saying that securing our freedom from oppressive taxes, excessive government meddling and being given the freedom to make our own mistakes will make us stronger in the world. First of all, it’s our freedom that these Islamic terrorists hate, so that won’t help. And secondly, those idea sound oddly conservative for such a left-winger as Kerry, so he can’t mean that either.

(What does he mean?)

“I’m running for president because I believe we can build an even more effective military.”

Even better than the one that ran through Iraq like a hot knife through quagmire? Just asking.

“I’m running for president because I believe that our government should live by those values [hard work, service and caring for one another], too.”

Translation: You should give the government more of the money you’ve made through your hard work, service and caring for one another because government knows better what to do with it than you do.

Well, I’m glad he cleared that up. Or not.

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