Miraculous Healing, Exhibit A: Me (or "The Reason I Fasted")
I have Multiple Sclerosis, and have had it for a bit over 23 years. The first episode I had numbed the left half of my body from the shoulder to the foot. With medication it went almost entirely away, with just some slight lingering numbness in my left hand that I could handle. Other smaller episodes of it coming and going occurred for some years after that, but then it left for about 10 years (again, with those initial leftovers being the only hint of it) until 2006, when I had a larger episode. I recounted that time in a previous blog post.
As I said back then, the treatment in 2006 was much different than in 1986, and I got back most of the feeling in my right arm. This still left some numbness in my right hand, which, while more so that what was in my left hand, still allowed me to touch-type (and being a programmer, typing is essential). I also had numbness in my feet and lower legs, but the treatment removed most of that as well.
MS comes in two forms; the kind that comes rather swiftly and then goes away with treatment, and the kind that continue to creep slowly through the body. I’d always had the former. However, after the 2006 episode, it seems I had some of the creeping kind. I noticed, after the treatment, that if I walked for too long, perhaps a couple of miles or so at a stretch, that my right leg would start to drag, as though the nerves telling it to move were keeping the signal from getting there easily. A bit of a rest — 15 minutes or so — and I’d be back going again. Imperceptibly, however, this distance before the leg started to drag began to shrink. It never seemed to be a big deal until I realized that how far I could walk during a few different annual events (camp outs, quiz meets, those sorts of things) was noticeably different if I remembered how I was the previous year. When I thought of it this way, I could see that things were indeed getting worse. I could go no more than a quarter of a mile, and sometimes not even that, before the leg started dragging. (After a long drive with some of the youth, in a van where the cruise control wasn’t working, my leg was immediately useless upon exiting the van.)
One of the things I’ve considered on and off over the years was asking God to heal me. I was a little hesitant, however, because, as I noted in the other post, God had already made it very clear to me that He could do it, He just wasn’t doing it at the time. Fair enough; I could live with that. And in living with that, I got the idea that I shouldn’t pursue that, other than the occasional requests for healing at our church. I would be prayed over, but I never really expected something instantaneous because I figured He’d do it when and if He wanted. And indeed, nothing much ever happened.
But this summer, I began to get this desire to really pursue a healing from God. Part of it was realizing that I was really unable to participate in my older son’s Boy Scout events, and that my younger son was hitting his Cub Scout Webelos years. Part of it was I was just plain tired of the whole MS thing. But a big part of it was that I came to the realization that God didn’t necessarily want this for me either. He could certainly work through it, and He had. (God’s hands are not tied because of mere sickness.) But I felt now that He wanted me to really pursue Him and a healing.